What do you do when you're torn? Torn between a physical being and a mental state. Obviously the physical being just IS... the mental state is one of flux and change and adaptability.
Truth be told (and I've never hidden the fact) I'm nearly 31. I've been around the block a few times; living alone, living back at home, married, divorced, taking on other people's children and then suddenly being single again. I believe this is called experience? And whilst it's not resulted in physical baggage it does have its reflection in my state of being.
So when your mind tells you that you're as capable as anyone in their early 20's (albeit with more hindsight and 'worldly knowledge) you listen, right? Then the mirror tells you something else. You're not one of those skinny just-past-teeny chicks with the world at her feet with the bat of an eyelid and a flash of the cleavage. My body was built to believe it should have been rearing children by now - god knows there are days when it looks like it already has! I try to change it but some things just don't budge. And who knows which days I wear the fat-goggles (you know, like beer-goggles). Yes, I use the scapegoat of health issues as my avoidance at times, and I probably don't have total cause to do so, but I'm still unwilling to push that limit just to test it.
But what gets me is the majority of the male population who believe they are more than adequately capable of scoring one of those bubbly ditzes who can barely count to double digits just because that's the number in front of their cup size on their bra label. I mean take a look at yourselves - you're definitely not to be considered anything flash. And you inevitably end up spending your life with a normal/real woman. Actually, that's not true. Most of you end up with feral attempts at being female. But still, the point is there. Where do you see 'reality'? And if you're honest enough to say you like what you get, then don't expect that delusion of acceptance to flow through the attitude of the one you end up with. Acceptance is perceived to idealistically come from within, but there must be some level (and I'd debate is a majority proportion) of external acceptance for one to truly be happy. But, when you suggest you accept us, we think you're lying anyway!
Add that to the issue of the torn mind and personality. You want to be who you are, but you're not allowed to like who you are because it's not good enough, but you have to ignore the disrespectful nature of other people which in turn contradicts the previous point, and, and, and....... arrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!! It truly does your head in.
/rant.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Instagram Challenge
A random thought came over me yesterday as I looked through my twitter feed whilst at the gym - what if I set a task to record my day via photos? And so became the Instagr.am challenge where I would take one photo every hour, for 12 hours to highlight my day's activities. Summary to follow:
06:00-07:00 Good Morning Tia
Tia is my morning wake up call on those morning when I'm not first to rise due to work commitments. Her 'mooing' (that's the noise she makes!) at my bedside is usually followed by her stealing a slipper from my room, and wandering off downstairs.
07:00-08:00 Coffee Time
It's always a pleasant aroma to fill the kitchen. Post breakfast coffee is a ritual in the house.
08:00-09:00 Hair & make-up time
The obligatory "face the day" routine.
09:00-10:00 Shopping @ Harbour Town Shopping Centre
This is the central water feature of Harbour Town. For some reason it's a tourist attraction - personally, all I see is bubbly water!
10:00-11:00 Job hunting
It's a daily chore searching for employment, and one proving to be too great for only two monitors with all of the cut and paste, various browser windows for cross referencing and checking.
11:00-12:00 Wellness
Physio time for injuries sustained in a fall last Saturday. Acupuncture was the treatment of choice today - those needles can be a little freaky if you suddenly tense up. An almighty twinge passes through your body with them.
12:00-13:00 Transportation
My Nissan, my preferred mode of transport.
13:00-14:00 Vessel pre-delivery
Dropped in to check on the boat which is due for delivery tomorrow.
14:00-15:00 Getting crafty
Rummaging through my stores of ribbon. I enjoy creating, and fancy-ing things up!
15:00-16:00 Cookies "flowers" gift box
A novel gift - these have become my trademark of late. Whether they be boxes with chocolate or cookies, they're pretty, and far more consumable than a floral arrangement!
16:00-17:00 Effective marketing
Whilst I'm an infrequent consumer of Coke, it was inevitable that I wouldn't be able to resist when seeing my name on a bottle. Genius marketing in my opinion.
17:00-18:00 Storm season
And down came the rain. Fortunately we didn't receive the lashings which the northern regions did, but the rain is still heavy enough to cause panic and fluster when rushing around to close all windows!
06:00-07:00 Good Morning Tia
Tia is my morning wake up call on those morning when I'm not first to rise due to work commitments. Her 'mooing' (that's the noise she makes!) at my bedside is usually followed by her stealing a slipper from my room, and wandering off downstairs.
07:00-08:00 Coffee Time
It's always a pleasant aroma to fill the kitchen. Post breakfast coffee is a ritual in the house.
08:00-09:00 Hair & make-up time
The obligatory "face the day" routine.
09:00-10:00 Shopping @ Harbour Town Shopping Centre
This is the central water feature of Harbour Town. For some reason it's a tourist attraction - personally, all I see is bubbly water!
10:00-11:00 Job hunting
It's a daily chore searching for employment, and one proving to be too great for only two monitors with all of the cut and paste, various browser windows for cross referencing and checking.
11:00-12:00 Wellness
Physio time for injuries sustained in a fall last Saturday. Acupuncture was the treatment of choice today - those needles can be a little freaky if you suddenly tense up. An almighty twinge passes through your body with them.
12:00-13:00 Transportation
My Nissan, my preferred mode of transport.
13:00-14:00 Vessel pre-delivery
Dropped in to check on the boat which is due for delivery tomorrow.
14:00-15:00 Getting crafty
Rummaging through my stores of ribbon. I enjoy creating, and fancy-ing things up!
15:00-16:00 Cookies "flowers" gift box
A novel gift - these have become my trademark of late. Whether they be boxes with chocolate or cookies, they're pretty, and far more consumable than a floral arrangement!
16:00-17:00 Effective marketing
Whilst I'm an infrequent consumer of Coke, it was inevitable that I wouldn't be able to resist when seeing my name on a bottle. Genius marketing in my opinion.
17:00-18:00 Storm season
And down came the rain. Fortunately we didn't receive the lashings which the northern regions did, but the rain is still heavy enough to cause panic and fluster when rushing around to close all windows!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thinking causes headaches
I think I need to blog more. But I also think my blogs need to be less ranty-ragey - we all know I think the world is full of wankers, and that I'm a lost cause in whatever I do. That being said, whatever I post about is likely to be of little interest to my few (or should I say "selective group of") followers. It has been suggested that the most common topic available for discussion between me and you is boobs, but, that seems to be a theme which is raised almost daily anyway by my own admission!
So, I pose the question, what direction should my expressions take? Since this is hopefully auto-linked between my twitter and Facebook accounts *glares at the technology Gods*, I am expecting at least three replies!!
Oh and by the way, do you like the new page style?
So, I pose the question, what direction should my expressions take? Since this is hopefully auto-linked between my twitter and Facebook accounts *glares at the technology Gods*, I am expecting at least three replies!!
Oh and by the way, do you like the new page style?
Monday, June 13, 2011
Balancing the body and mind - in some very compromising positions!
Today, being a public holiday, gave me a chance to participate in a couple of gym classes which I normally wouldn't do. In fact, my day has comprised pretty much solely on gym and exercise and rest; I'm pretty sure I could convert that to a full time lifestyle!
I started with an RPM (spin) cycle class this morning. These used to be my Monday morning, 05:45am kick starts to the week. But since it's been a while, I thought I'd start with the express class of just 35 minutes as opposed to the full 55 minutes.
Firstl
y, let me just point out this "bike" looked like something designed by NASA. But, during design, they forgot to account for comfort. By Christ, that seat hurts bones in your arse you never knew existed! I will confess to skipping many of the hill climbs in the routine because I was already struggling to keep my heart rate lower than 180bpm. Nevertheless, I at least kept my legs spinning for a total of 40 minutes (five minutes getting used to posture and position prior to class commencing.) Consequently I suffered from wobbly-leg for an hour or so afterwards.
Tonight I returned to the gym for a Body Balance class. This is a Les Mills class with a very interesting take on combining yoga, pilates and tai chi. Here was me, expecting a sedate, yet muscularly strong, class. But no. I worked up a sweat which I was completely unprepared for.
And despite the heating apparently being on in the room, it was actually my body overheating with the strain of the exercise. I have to admit, having sweat dripping in to your eye whilst focussing on your Down Dog can be quite distracting.
It's always disconcerting when you're participating in group activities where everyone else in the room seems to know what they're doing, and how to avoid looking like a total pratt. Plus, the instructions given were rather 'technical' by way of referring to movements by name rather than action. I struggled to find my focal point - an issue possibly compounded by the fact the woman's head in front of me just peaked at the point on the mirror where my eye level would be comfortable for maintaining a balance/sight level.
Now I'm aware of what to expect, I'll head back for the Friday night session this week - by then my muscles should have recovered. I will practice my down dog, tree, aeroplane, warrior and flat back in the meantime and hope I don't look like the total newbie in the group.
xxM
I started with an RPM (spin) cycle class this morning. These used to be my Monday morning, 05:45am kick starts to the week. But since it's been a while, I thought I'd start with the express class of just 35 minutes as opposed to the full 55 minutes.
Firstl
y, let me just point out this "bike" looked like something designed by NASA. But, during design, they forgot to account for comfort. By Christ, that seat hurts bones in your arse you never knew existed! I will confess to skipping many of the hill climbs in the routine because I was already struggling to keep my heart rate lower than 180bpm. Nevertheless, I at least kept my legs spinning for a total of 40 minutes (five minutes getting used to posture and position prior to class commencing.) Consequently I suffered from wobbly-leg for an hour or so afterwards.Tonight I returned to the gym for a Body Balance class. This is a Les Mills class with a very interesting take on combining yoga, pilates and tai chi. Here was me, expecting a sedate, yet muscularly strong, class. But no. I worked up a sweat which I was completely unprepared for.
And despite the heating apparently being on in the room, it was actually my body overheating with the strain of the exercise. I have to admit, having sweat dripping in to your eye whilst focussing on your Down Dog can be quite distracting.It's always disconcerting when you're participating in group activities where everyone else in the room seems to know what they're doing, and how to avoid looking like a total pratt. Plus, the instructions given were rather 'technical' by way of referring to movements by name rather than action. I struggled to find my focal point - an issue possibly compounded by the fact the woman's head in front of me just peaked at the point on the mirror where my eye level would be comfortable for maintaining a balance/sight level.
Now I'm aware of what to expect, I'll head back for the Friday night session this week - by then my muscles should have recovered. I will practice my down dog, tree, aeroplane, warrior and flat back in the meantime and hope I don't look like the total newbie in the group.
xxM
